I did the opposite of what I wanted to do.

WHY DO I DO THIS?

WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

I’ve been alone a thousand times before but I’ve NEVER felt as lonely as I did watching his car drive out of sight.

HUMAN COME BACK. HUG ME AGAIN PLEEEEEEASE!

What am I doing here? Why am I here? He can’t make it work up here so why am I even trying? I’m want to build a life with him, not apart from him! I want fucking pets. SHARED pets.

I ran away from failed friendships and a feeling of inadequacy among my peers – Not from him.

I ran from another him the first time around, I can’t make this a habit.

Fuck, man. I ditched my blog, I ditched my life, I ditched my ginger – NOOOO, NOT THE GINGER! Never the ginger.

I started a new life in a new city and it didn’t work out. I came up here. I grieved. I grew. I healed.

The fuck am I still doing up here?

 

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